Dinner and a Movie... a bit of humor

Dinner and a Movie

The wife and I decided to have a date night last Friday, so off to our favorite Chinese place for some General Tso chicken then off the movie. The movie we went to see has been out for a few weeks now, so we didn’t expect a huge crowd. We were correct. Arriving at the theatre about a half our early, we decided to get our tickets and go inside. The theatre was old, reeking of stale popcorn and the 60’s décor. Did kids always work in movie houses? It was a challenge to discern who was there for Madagascar 2, or who the employees were.

Down the hall we go, reading the marquis and searching for our movie. Ah, there it is, all the way at the freakin’ end. We go inside, and there isn’t a soul in there. The only sound is the soundtrack from Polar Express playing through the speakers evenly spaced along the walls. There was a row of chairs against the back wall, with about 20 feet before the other rows started. Since I had knee surgery a few weeks ago, we sat in those seats so I could stretch my leg out. I must confess, I did feel a little guilty, since I was able to hobble fairly well without the aid of a crutch or cane. Then the procession began. A foursome entered first. 3 apparently healthy folks and one man who looked like his left leg was screwed on backwards. They paused, looked as us, smiled, and found seats in the normal section. I stretched out my leg and moaned slightly, perhaps to justify my condition. The next couple that came in had the male half limping like he just rammed his bare toe on the metal frame at the bottom of the bed. This time, I smiled as I shifted my weight in the seat from left to right, simultaneously rubbing my knee and saying “had surgery recently”. He nodded and limped off to the normal section. My wife and I looked at each other; she biting her lower lip to keep from laughing hysterically. I leaned over to her and whispered, “Do you believe this? A total of 8 people in the theatre, 3 of which have bum legs.” Before I could finish the sentence, yet a fourth man, yet a third bum leg, entered the theatre and just stood in front of us for what seemed like 5 minutes, gazing or staring into space, kinda hard to tell. Then he hobbled down to a chair on the end of the aisle, about half way down. I thought to myself “All we need are some civil war uniforms, and we can recreate the battle of Gettysburg.” Maybe a tad cruel, but nevertheless, funny in the moment. So the movie ends, and the lights begin to come up. As our eyes readjust, we hear a cavalcade of groans as the lame men begin to creak and crack, like twigs on a fall afternoon, back to the upright position. I was right there with them, making sure they knew I was indeed a crippled comrade. We were the first ones out the door, and didn’t look back; hobbling down the hall, leaving the aroma of stale popcorn far behind. What the hell were the odds of that?